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This absurdly weird tongue-shaped cat brush

Here's some of the strangest and most embarrassing stuff you buy on Amazon right now.

For starters: Sure, you could buy a normal cat brush. Or you could buy this synthetic Licki tongue brush that lets you clean your cat as if you were a feline yourself.

Published:Caption:Photo:PDX Pet Design via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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The perfect shirt for residents of Flavor Town

As Guy might say, this sleeveless tank is money. It's vaguely cheese-colored, too.

Published:Caption:Photo:Brisco Brands via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This shirt that gets you swole without the work ??

"Damn bro. You just got swole, bro."

"Thanks bro. Pretty sweet, huh, bro?"

"Yeah, bro. What's your secret, bro? Got a new trainer, bro?"

"Nah, bro. Just bought these sweet guns on Amazon."

Published:Caption:Photo:DSPlay via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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A solution for all that butt acne ??

Because no one wants acne, especially on their butt.

Published:Caption:Photo:Green Heart Labs via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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A crafting book... for cat hair ??

It's one thing to be that person who owns 12 cats. It's entirely another to craft a brand-new cat from the fur of your existing cats.

Published:Caption:Photo:Quirk Books via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This poo emoji plunger ??

There's nothing inconspicuous about this plunger. Which we kinda love.

Published:Caption:Photo:Squatty Potty via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This comfy replacement for human touch

Who needs a real partner when you can just cozy up to this cleverly designed pillow that hugs you back?

Published:Caption:Photo:Boyfriend Pillow via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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A truly wistful Jeff Goldblum shower curtain ??

The name of this shower curtain design is "Miss You, Mr. Goldblum," though it's not clear exactly what happened to the veteran actor, or what his relationship is to the dog pictured.

Published:Caption:Photo:Delean via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This fanny pack with a unique print

Fanny packs are embarrassing enough, but this "beer gut" print takes the cringe to a whole new level.

Published:Caption:Photo:A AIFAMY via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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A gigantic, 55-gallon-drum of personal lubricant

No, the model dunking herself in 55 gallons of lubricant is not included.

Published:Caption:Photo:Passion Lubes via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This truly upsetting toilet device (that's just a prank)

As wonderful (?) as a high-powered butt-scrubbing device may sound, the Roto Wipe is not a real product. It's an empty gag gift box designed to embarrass the hell out of whoever unwraps it.

Published:Caption:Photo:Prank Pack via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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A coloring book for enthusiasts of cat posteriors

It's time to get creative... with cat butts.

Published:Caption:Photo:Val Brains via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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The perfect pillow for Nic Cage stans

This sequined pillow is an honest-to-goodness National Treasure.

Published:Caption:Photo:LumaPillows via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This weird way to separate egg yolks ??

If you're making a meringue (or just a healthy egg-white omelet), this egg separator will really come in handy. But why does the egg white have to come out of this guy's nose as snot, though? ??

Published:Caption:Photo:The Paragon via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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A new neck tie for your dog every day this month ??

There's nothing embarrassing about dressing up your dog... probably. But if you're so obsessed that you need to buy your dog neckties in bulk -- such as this collection of 30 different dog ties for $20 -- that's another story.

Published:Caption:Photo:Bestag via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This hand sanitizer, because...

The less you think about where peoples' hands have been, the better.

Published:Caption:Photo:Blue Q via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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The perfect tool to liberate women from the toilet seat

Embarrassing... or empowering? You make the call.

Published:Caption:Photo:GoGirl via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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The most absurd way to dole out Kleenex

You may have noticed there are a lot of cats in this gallery. Don't get us wrong: There's nothing embarrassing about cats themselves or cat ownership.

That said, if you're getting your tissues from the butt of a plaster cat, it may be time to reassess your life and how, exactly, you got to this point.

Published:Caption:Photo:What On Earth via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This high-tech way to see how gross your ear is

Ever wonder just how gross the inside of your ears really are? This 720p HD camera with lights will fill you in on all the waxy details for just $26.

Published:Caption:Photo:Teslong via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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Some new butts for the fridge

Did your kid bring home a top-notch report card? Got a new baby picture from the family out west? Stick it to the fridge with a dog butt!

Published:Caption:Photo:Kikkerland via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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Just some underwear with a cat's face, no big deal

Meow yow yow! This one's available in a lot of different designs, too, in case you want an alpaca, owl or corgi?on your drawers.

Published:Caption:Photo:Ababalaya via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This Poo-Pourri spray that reduces bathroom stink ??

This lemon toilet spray is designed to stop the smell before it even happens.

Published:Caption:Photo:Poo-Pourri via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This gateway to ergonomic pooping ??

The Squatty Potty is one of the most famous inventions to ever score a deal on ABC's Shark Tank. It's also a surprisingly satisfying tool for bathroom time.

Published:Caption:Photo:Squatty Potty via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This cure for 'monkey butt' ??

Amazon reviewers say this "Anti Monkey Butt Powder," a mix of calamine powder and cornstarch, keeps "breast rash" away in the summertime. It comes bundled with "Fresh Breasts" deodorant lotion.

Published:Caption:Photo:Fresh Body FB via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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Shiny gold underwear

If you've never twerked in a pair of shiny gold hot pants, well... here's your chance.

Published:Caption:Photo:K-Men via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This antigas insert for your underwear ??????

There are some questions as to whether these underwear-mounted charcoal filters actually keep the full sulfurous stink at bay -- "Subtle Butt" is more of a gag gift than anything else.

Published:Caption:Photo:Fashion First Aid via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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These wipes. For your, uh...

There's nothing embarrassing about good hygiene, of course. But just try asking for these wipes by name at your local supermarket. We dare you.

Published:Caption:Photo:Fresh Body FB via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This genius way to sneak some liquor

Are you looking to do some day drinking at the game, but you're worried security will confiscate your flask before you get in? We guarantee they won't be examining these.

Published:Caption:Photo:Smuggle Your Booze via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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This tool for cleaning your gross tongue ??

A little bit of embarrassment scraping your tongue now can save you a lot of embarrassment from bad breath later.

Published:Caption:Photo:Dr. Tung via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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These thirsty pads that soak up all your sweat ??

Again, as embarrassing as it may be to buy these pads to soak up all your excess underarm sweat, it's probably less embarrassing than the gigantic stains you'd get on your clothes without them.

Published:Caption:Photo:OHeal via AmazonDisclosure:We may get a commission from retail offers.
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